Disclaimer: do not attempt to remind me that I was once a child. I'm sure I was just as evil and uncomfortable as the rest of them, and if I met myself as a kid I'd hate me too.
Now, when I say I hate children, everyone always tells me that I'm in denial and I'll end up having kids and loving it.
Well, no I fucking wont.
I really honestly despise children. I only have a few enemies in this world, including jelly (sick!!!), homeless people, that show about people in jail, and pants, but children are definitely number one.
Here are some of the things that are wrong with children:
1. They're always staring. What the fuck are you looking at? And don't be a smart ass and say something like "Mommy look at her" or "Are you a girl or a boy?" or "Why do you have earrings in your mouth?" either. You're lucky it's socially unacceptable because I'd love to teach you a lesson.
2. Children are just selfish little brats in general.
3. That eight year old boy might look "innocent" (to the untrained eye) but I know he'd slap a dog or something. Little kids are assholes to animals.
4. Everyone talks to them in that baby voice, like they're a fucking angel. Guess what, your kid probably steals, pisses herself at the grocery store, bullies other children at school, or just struggles to get their pants on in the morning.
And the worst type of children are infants. They're like drunk assholes that can't even walk straight, and they just scream or cry when they want something. Use your words you idiot.
I'd probably rather die than have a little devil running around soaking up all my money and ability to deal with life, wouldn't you? Probably not because everybody wants their own little mutant brat causing more detriment to society.
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2 comments:
Damn it's like a climax--almost--reading your blog, yes FINALLY someone else GETS it, whew. And no I don't want to have kids, or see your kids pics or watch your kids, or any thing involving kids, thanks. My cat is my kid...
Even before I knew I couldn't have kids, I knew I didn't want any. In my early 20's I had a PG scare that was 6 months of freedom from periods & wasted PG tests for nothing, had a bad uterus & got that out finally said I was old enough in my 30's.
If I were going to have a kid, it would be an orphan since there are already too many unwanted people including kids, on this planet, why add more? I never had that ego thing of needing to have a little me running around.
Don't you love it when perfect strangers--or even people you thought knew you, or maybe they thought they knew you & were wrong, oh so wrong--tell you "But you'd make such a great mother"? How the hell do they know? Or they say "it's different when it's your own kid", yeah right! Then you can't EVER escape, at least with someone else's kids, you CAN get away! It's a conspiracy to make us all as miserable and trapped feeling as they are, right? ;-P
Kudos for putting your balls to the walls on this opinion publicly. I just added to it, now any guy I ever want to date who might have a kid will run the other way, right? Hmmm. :-)
I HATE it when people tell me I'm going to want kids someday and I just don't know it!!! as if i'm going to be like "oh you're totally right, I was just saying that to fuck with you!" also why do they assume they know me better than I know myself?? assholes.
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