how to make shoes

There are two things I MUST have. The other day I discovered a tool at a burrito place that would make my life easier in every way:

And then I found these:

If there was ever a perfect pair of shoes for a cat lady it's these. And I NEED THEM. Unfortunately they are out of stock so I'll have to make due...

(click the image to view bigger)

what it's like to be the clumsiest person in the world

Earlier today I broke an expensive glass (this happens to me at least once a week, I swear.)

Then just now I opened a soda, took one sip, and spilled it all over my external harddrive (cool!!!!). So goodbye $200 harddrive with all my tv shows, how the fuck am I supposed to watch kitchen nightmares now???

Yesterday I was at work and had just opened a soda, drank a bit, and then managed to knock it over and spill the entire thing on my pants. And I spilled it just perfectly so it looked like I peed my pants, but I guess it's okay because last week I ripped my work pants (my only pair) anyway right before I was going to leave for work.

The week before, we went to get my boyfriend's favorite glass from his house because he was afraid it would get ruined. So we finally got it and brought it back to my house, and it was sitting on the table for about five seconds before I accidentally knocked it over into a hundred pieces.

Oh, and a couple days before that, I had broken a margarita glass at Chili's (at least it was empty).

Also, once, the security people at my work told me how clumsy I am because they can see on the cameras how often I just flat out run into things. Once I even stabbed myself in the eye with this children's toy trying to figure out how it worked, but I think it's a little too dangerous anyway. Then again, I guess every child should have one..

how cats come to question their existence, also why cats are better than babies

First, Chauncey and Emma were little kittens.

Then Chauncey was very ill due to his worms. 

Soon, he recovered, and tried on some new clothes. 

He often insisted that we take him for a walk.

And he even learned to put on his snow boots by himself!

Eventually, we got him a real window seat, so he could be alone to contemplate his existence.